Just Say No…

I cannot stop myself.  I love to volunteer.  I want to help.   I find volunteering my time extremely rewarding.

But there comes a point when a person, me, must say no.  This is a painful experience for me.  I get sweaty, I feel guilty and I lose sleep.  I am often overscheduled to the point of exhaustion. I have owned two mugs and three t-shirts that were purchased for me by loved ones that encourage me to “just say no”.  Yet, I find it a very difficult to turn people down when I am asked for help.

I have a long list of things that I should have turned down.  I once agreed to cut out 75 fish for the swim team, shortly after Carpal Tunnel surgery on my cutting hand.   I have agreed to fry 50 pounds of ground beef and make sloppy joes for the homeless while pregnant.  Keeping in mind, at the time, the smell of fried meat made me sick.  I just cannot stop myself.

I added this to my “50” list because it is something I have always wanted to work on.  I have read a couple of articles on the subject and found that perhaps the reason behind this is not my heart of gold but my need to please people or my need to be included.

I am proud to share that because I have made this a priority, I have turned down two different board positions, helping with a large high school project at my children’s school and turned two families down for dinner.  Yes, I even go to dinner and social occasions with people I do not enjoy.  I have stopped planning showers, birthday surprises and buying all the cards for my team at work, brothers and family members.

I still have a little guilt but I also have some extra time.  The world has not ended and people still like me.  And, I like me.

The List…

  • Write a monthly thank you to someone who has had a big impact on my life
  • Give blood
  • Spend an entire day completing random acts of kindness
  • Grant a wish from my mom’s bucket list
  • Get real with money
  • Say no and mean it and feel no guilt
  • Ask for help with no guilt or delay
  • Allow myself to be photographed more often
  • Spend a weekend at the monastery
  • Learn about other religions
  • Join my church as a member
  • Lose 20 pounds
  • Belly Dancing Class
  • Pole Dancing Class
  • Body Cleanse and Detox
  • Reflexology
  • Acupuncture
  • Tai Chi
  • Learn to Bartend
  • Learn to Grill
  • Take an Improv Class
  • Ziplining
  • Rock Climbing
  • Hot Air Ballooning
  • Disc Golf
  • Laser Tag
  • Paint Ball
  • Big Repairs on the house this year
  • Get a tattoo
  • Have a reading by psychic
  • Go to the rodeo
  • Grape Stomping–yes like the time Lucy and Ethel made wine
  • Tandem biking
  • Compete in an event at the State Fair
  • Drive a convertible
  • Work for a flower shop and deliver flowers for a day
  • Write a blog
  • Read a new book each week
  • Read all the books that my book club selects
  • Film Festival
  • Music Festival
  • Get a passport–the plan to travel out of the country begins..
  • Road Trip alone…Thelma and Louise with no Louise…
  • Train Trip
  • Stephen Colbert Show
  • Independent Bookstore Tour around the Midwest
  • Facial
  • Visit with a cosmetologist for a makeup makeover
  • Join AARP
  • Have a colonoscopy

The items that have been marked through are completed items.


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