Just me…

My entire life I have been surrounded by people.  I have four siblings, hundreds of cousins and many friends.  I am very social and I really enjoy companionship.  My husband, Ben is many times forced to go on errands he would rather avoid so I can have someone else in the car.   I even invite him into the room while I am reading.  I like him around.

In recent years, I have gradually found that I enjoy time alone.  I am so much more comfortable with me-spending time all by myself now that I am older.  I use to think being alone meant I was lonely or unpopular.  I don’t fear being alone anymore.  I am unsure why the transition but I am going to credit it to learning to love myself.  I think age and life experience have played a role in this change also.

Doing things that makes me happy lights me up inside and out.  And, solitude is one of those things.  I am not rejecting family or friends.  I am just taking time to think deeply and disconnect from my very busy and noisy life.

Capturing time to be alone was not easy with my very active life.  I started adding solitude to my “To Do List” in the form of a bubble bath or yoga.   It really felt liberating to add something for me to my long list of laundry, grocery shopping, PTA meetings and all the other things I needed to accomplish before my head and pillow were able to reunite.

So it started, time for me. My love affair with solitude.  At first it might have been 20-30 minutes.  Then it expanded to more time for me and some times, I take an entire day. I have taken more than a couple of vacation days and not told my children.  I have spent the better part of my youth, being wracked with guilt. Not this time.  I am a better mom, friend, employee, wife when I take time for me.  I appreciate my life more.

As I was building my “50 at 50 list”.  Solitude and quiet time was included.  I am planning a road trip alone and some time at the monastery for deep thought and meditation.

The List

  • Write a monthly thank you to someone who has had a big impact on my life
  • Give blood
  • Spend an entire day completing random acts of kindness
  • Grant a wish from my mom’s bucket list
  • Get real with money
  • Say no and mean it and feel no guilt
  • Ask for help with no guilt or delay
  • Allow myself to be photographed more often
  • Spend a weekend at the monastery
  • Learn about other religions
  • Join my church as a member
  • Lose 20 pounds
  • Belly Dancing Class
  • Pole Dancing Class
  • Body Cleanse and Detox
  • Reflexology
  • Acupuncture
  • Tai Chi
  • Learn to Bartend
  • Learn to Grill
  • Take an Improv Class
  • Ziplining
  • Rock Climbing
  • Hot Air Ballooning
  • Disc Golf
  • Laser Tag
  • Paint Ball
  • Big Repairs on the house this year
  • Get a tattoo
  • Have a reading by psychic
  • Go to the rodeo
  • Grape Stomping–yes like the time Lucy and Ethel made wine
  • Tandem biking
  • Compete in an event at the State Fair
  • Drive a convertible
  • Work for a flower shop and deliver flowers for a day
  • Write a blog
  • Read a new book each week
  • Read all the books that my book club selects
  • Film Festival
  • Music Festival
  • Get a passport–the plan to travel out of the country begins..
  • Road Trip alone…Thelma and Louise with no Louise…
  • Train Trip
  • Stephen Colbert Show
  • Independent Bookstore Tour around the Midwest
  • Facial
  • Visit with a cosmetologist for a makeup makeover
  • Join AARP
  • Have a colonoscopy

The items that have been marked through are completed items.

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